Bust Your Move | ~3,000 | PG-13
Kevin/Mike
Kevin’s breathing goes all shuddery, bordering on gasping, and Carden oh-so-slowly pets him there, right on the side of his throat, and shushes him and Kevin thinks, a little hysterical, that if he’s trying to calm him down the petting thing is totally not working.
A/N: So, just to confuse you a little, this is an AU of the show JONAS, in which the Jonas Brothers are actually the Lucas brothers, and have a band called JONAS and go to a private school and their friend Stella acts as their stylist and this girl Macy is their biggest, weirdest fan. And a while ago I wrote on Twitter how much more awesome the show would be if Rival!Band!The Academy Is... were in it, and then I promptly forgot about that, and then I wrote this yesterday. Herein lies pointless high school shenanigans, Nick's one-sided feud with Bill Beckett, and making out in cars and ball closets and libraries. Yeah. This is also kind of lame, forgive me.
( Bust Your Move )
Kevin/Mike
Kevin’s breathing goes all shuddery, bordering on gasping, and Carden oh-so-slowly pets him there, right on the side of his throat, and shushes him and Kevin thinks, a little hysterical, that if he’s trying to calm him down the petting thing is totally not working.
A/N: So, just to confuse you a little, this is an AU of the show JONAS, in which the Jonas Brothers are actually the Lucas brothers, and have a band called JONAS and go to a private school and their friend Stella acts as their stylist and this girl Macy is their biggest, weirdest fan. And a while ago I wrote on Twitter how much more awesome the show would be if Rival!Band!The Academy Is... were in it, and then I promptly forgot about that, and then I wrote this yesterday. Herein lies pointless high school shenanigans, Nick's one-sided feud with Bill Beckett, and making out in cars and ball closets and libraries. Yeah. This is also kind of lame, forgive me.
( Bust Your Move )
In The Movement | PG | ~1000
Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas | follows Dancing Goes All Night
“Notice how the skinny tie makes him look less like he’s carrying shrunken baby heads around in his pockets.”
A/N: for
shutyourface, who thinks Carden “would kill you dead & then go get a burger while your bloody body cooled in the trunk of his car.” This is kind of like cracky schmoop or something, and may possibly only be completely hilarious to me. Please point out any errors!
hilariously perfect manip by celebutaunt!!!
( In The Movement )
Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas | follows Dancing Goes All Night
“Notice how the skinny tie makes him look less like he’s carrying shrunken baby heads around in his pockets.”
A/N: for
hilariously perfect manip by celebutaunt!!!
( In The Movement )
Dancing Goes All Night | PG | 2,000+
Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas | Coda to Dancing Without Warning
The thing is, if they’d wanted him to actually pay attention to the interview, they shouldn’t have sat him next to the lady with the polar bear cub.
A/N: THIS IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF SCHMOOP. Must needs have read Dancing Without Warning first, obviously. Title still comes from The Art of Dancing by Bronx Cheerleader. Unbeta’d fluff, written in a couple hours, so please point out any mistakes :)
( Dancing Goes All Night )
Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas | Coda to Dancing Without Warning
The thing is, if they’d wanted him to actually pay attention to the interview, they shouldn’t have sat him next to the lady with the polar bear cub.
A/N: THIS IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF SCHMOOP. Must needs have read Dancing Without Warning first, obviously. Title still comes from The Art of Dancing by Bronx Cheerleader. Unbeta’d fluff, written in a couple hours, so please point out any mistakes :)
( Dancing Goes All Night )
A Handholding Song | PG-13 | 15,000+
Joe/Bob, Brendon/Spencer, Frank/Gerard (with background William/Gabe, implied Jon/Ryan & blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Butcher/Siska)
“I’m gonna write a song about you,” Joe says. “It’ll be a handholding song, I hope you don’t mind if I make you a girl.”
A/N: THE HOBO JOE AU! It’s finished! And it's, like, an uber schmoopy meet-cute, but whatever. So many thanks to
insunshine for beta’ing this – I’ve recently realized that I phrase things in epically weird ways, and some of it is just my style, but most of it is just stupid, and she totally calls me on it every time. And! TNBC was real, as was Hang Time, and those were my Saturday mornings for years (years spent in college and beyond! Real-life careers require California Dreams and City Guys, is all I’m saying).
( A Handholding Song )
Joe/Bob, Brendon/Spencer, Frank/Gerard (with background William/Gabe, implied Jon/Ryan & blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Butcher/Siska)
“I’m gonna write a song about you,” Joe says. “It’ll be a handholding song, I hope you don’t mind if I make you a girl.”
A/N: THE HOBO JOE AU! It’s finished! And it's, like, an uber schmoopy meet-cute, but whatever. So many thanks to
( A Handholding Song )
Dancing Without Warning | PG-13 | 9000+
Kevin Jonas/Mike Carden | The Jonas Brothers, The Academy Is..., Jon Walker
“Let me get this straight,” Nick says, ignoring Joe’s snickers. “You accidentally implied that Mike Carden is a rapist.”
In which there is an elevator, a bet and the VMAs, leading to drunkenness, misunderstandings, and some approximation of dating. Mike is prickly, and Kevin is unwittingly a douche.
Contains minor references to Property of the Queen and Laser Cats, because Andy Samberg is a genius.
A/N: This was supposed to be a tiny little one-off about Mike and Kevin in an elevator. I don’t know what happened, but I’m blaming Bill Beckett. Unbeta’d, ridiculous, schmoopy, angsty, faily boys failing at love, told in snippets of various shapes, sizes and times. Title comes from The Art of Dancing by Bronx Cheerleader.
( Dancing Without Warning )
Kevin Jonas/Mike Carden | The Jonas Brothers, The Academy Is..., Jon Walker
“Let me get this straight,” Nick says, ignoring Joe’s snickers. “You accidentally implied that Mike Carden is a rapist.”
In which there is an elevator, a bet and the VMAs, leading to drunkenness, misunderstandings, and some approximation of dating. Mike is prickly, and Kevin is unwittingly a douche.
Contains minor references to Property of the Queen and Laser Cats, because Andy Samberg is a genius.
A/N: This was supposed to be a tiny little one-off about Mike and Kevin in an elevator. I don’t know what happened, but I’m blaming Bill Beckett. Unbeta’d, ridiculous, schmoopy, angsty, faily boys failing at love, told in snippets of various shapes, sizes and times. Title comes from The Art of Dancing by Bronx Cheerleader.
( Dancing Without Warning )
Saponification | PG-13 | multiple pairings | 19,000+
Sequel to Supersaturation, Solvation, Enthalpy, Entropy, Sublimation, Allotropy and Adsorption.
“I don’t usually follow gossip,” Brendon says, which is a blatant, bald lie, “but word is Crawford’s got an imaginary friend.”
A/N: For those of you who skipped Adsorption because of the JoBros, I strongly urge you to reconsider (Carden is awesome!) – I’m gonna say you probably need to have read ALL stories that have come before, and I’m gonna say that because I basically throw every character ever at you in this one. Except for, I’m sad to say, most of Panic. Fear not, they shall be the focus of the very next installment! Saying that, Saponification (title tongue-in-cheek) is about a slight mystery surrounding Joe, Gerard, Johnson and Ian. To make things slightly less confusing, have a Supersaturation Character Cheat Sheet! There are Nickelodeon and Disney people now! I blame Bonus.
Much awesome thanks to
insunshine for the kick-ass beta-job. I totally don’t have favorites, but this is for
druidspell (my best ‘verse supporter),
nunshavingfun (I fixed Joe for you!!!), and
starflowers (whose mere existence makes me smile).
( Saponification )
Sequel to Supersaturation, Solvation, Enthalpy, Entropy, Sublimation, Allotropy and Adsorption.
“I don’t usually follow gossip,” Brendon says, which is a blatant, bald lie, “but word is Crawford’s got an imaginary friend.”
A/N: For those of you who skipped Adsorption because of the JoBros, I strongly urge you to reconsider (Carden is awesome!) – I’m gonna say you probably need to have read ALL stories that have come before, and I’m gonna say that because I basically throw every character ever at you in this one. Except for, I’m sad to say, most of Panic. Fear not, they shall be the focus of the very next installment! Saying that, Saponification (title tongue-in-cheek) is about a slight mystery surrounding Joe, Gerard, Johnson and Ian. To make things slightly less confusing, have a Supersaturation Character Cheat Sheet! There are Nickelodeon and Disney people now! I blame Bonus.
Much awesome thanks to
( Saponification )
Adsorption | PG-13 | 5,000+
Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas
Sequel to Supersaturation, Solvation, Enthalpy, Entropy, Sublimation and Allotropy.
“Skippy here’s a virgin,” Carden says, tugging Kevin down into the seat next to him. He’s been doing that all day, pushing him around, like he’s some sort of circus freak or trained dog or something.
A/N: So I did it! It’s the JoBros in space! But also Mike Carden! And Chuck and Chislett! While reading the many stories before this one isn’t strictly necessary, there are references to stuff in the other fics, and Carden himself was introduced briefly in Allotropy, so I’d advise reading them all before attempting this one. And, of course, the next major stop in this ‘verse will have more Carden, so this one will be helpful for that.
A couple things: Kevin is the oldest Jonas brother. Bonus Jonas is actually named Frankie, but calling him Bonus is way funnier. Selena Gomez does, indeed, have a large head. Purity rings will never not be funny to me, sorry.
Finally, thank you so much to
insunshine for the quick beta and for being generally kick-ass awesome.
* This was actually supposed to be what I had planned for V-Day, so consider it an early gift? I'm just really horrible at waiting to post once I've got a finished copy :) Enjoy!
( Adsorption )
Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas
Sequel to Supersaturation, Solvation, Enthalpy, Entropy, Sublimation and Allotropy.
“Skippy here’s a virgin,” Carden says, tugging Kevin down into the seat next to him. He’s been doing that all day, pushing him around, like he’s some sort of circus freak or trained dog or something.
A/N: So I did it! It’s the JoBros in space! But also Mike Carden! And Chuck and Chislett! While reading the many stories before this one isn’t strictly necessary, there are references to stuff in the other fics, and Carden himself was introduced briefly in Allotropy, so I’d advise reading them all before attempting this one. And, of course, the next major stop in this ‘verse will have more Carden, so this one will be helpful for that.
A couple things: Kevin is the oldest Jonas brother. Bonus Jonas is actually named Frankie, but calling him Bonus is way funnier. Selena Gomez does, indeed, have a large head. Purity rings will never not be funny to me, sorry.
Finally, thank you so much to
* This was actually supposed to be what I had planned for V-Day, so consider it an early gift? I'm just really horrible at waiting to post once I've got a finished copy :) Enjoy!
( Adsorption )
Build Your House, Call Me Home | PG | 10,000+
William’s House of Orphans AU
William/Gabe, others implied
William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame Jon.
Warning: this is not even remotely historically, geographically, or culturally accurate in any way.
A/N: I don’t know if this qualifies as actual fic? I’m sorry. I’m just—really, really sorry. Title comes from Sara by Fleetwood Mac.
( Build Your House, Call Me Home )
William’s House of Orphans AU
William/Gabe, others implied
William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame Jon.
Warning: this is not even remotely historically, geographically, or culturally accurate in any way.
A/N: I don’t know if this qualifies as actual fic? I’m sorry. I’m just—really, really sorry. Title comes from Sara by Fleetwood Mac.
( Build Your House, Call Me Home )
He rubs his fingertips over his temples. “I should have never indulged Greta.”
“Like you ever have any say in what Greta does, Billy,” Gabriel says absently. He tilts his head back on the armchair and puffs at his pipe, teeth biting into the carved ivory.
Which is entirely true. They’re of like ages, and their families have been dear friends since years before either of them had been born, but if anyone’s the bully in their relationship, it’s Greta. William’s sure that’s how he’d gotten saddled with Butcher and Jon in the first place. If it’d been up to William, they both would’ve been raised in Derbyshire by Uncle Orlan, and William would’ve spent his bachelor years gallivanting about London, racking up massive gambling debts. Instead, he’s got Gabriel and a houseful of big-eyed orphans – but he thinks, in the end, he’s gotten a rather good deal. He’d never ever tell Gabriel or Greta that, though.
“You fret like an old woman,” Gabriel says. “Butcher’s known Siska for years, it’ll all work out fine.”
William is disinclined to believe him, but there’s nothing to be done about it now.
Remember that little brain fart of an idea I had in October about William's house of orphans? Yeah, um, I kind of ran with it. THIS IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY HISTORICALLY ACCURATE AT ALL. Right now I'm writing the part where Siska's coming back to Beckett Manor as a boy for the very first time - there's this whole thing where he's Greta's ward and he really wants to actually be a girl, but he's fourteen now and he can't really get away with it anymore - and he's worried how his very best friend Butcher is going to react!! HERE, HAVE SOME CHEEKY JON WALKER, SIR WILLIAM'S WARD:
William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame Jon. Jon, who currently looks like a common street rat, dirt streaking his rosy cheeks and just south of his pert smile, perfectly serviceable breeches just that morning now torn beyond repair. Victoria isn’t going to like this one little bit.
“Care to explain yourself, Jonathan?” William asks, arching an eyebrow.
Jon just grins wider.
Honestly, William’s been saddled with the cheekiest ward. He doesn’t think he was this much trouble when he was fourteen.
“This reminds me exactly of you,” Gabriel says, slouching negligently against the hearth mantel, curve of his mouth much too amused for William’s comfort. William’s trying to be firm here, to lay some ground rules, so as young Mr. Walker can’t, er. Walk all over him. It’s bad enough Jon’s talked him into having the laconic, kitten-eyed Ross and his fierce little protector hanging about, snagging his best guest rooms, pestering Cook for warm tarts and hot cocoa.
“Stuff it, Gabe,” William says, cutting him a small frown before turning once again to Jon and the little bit of a thing clutching the back of Jon’s once snowy-white shirt. “Jon.”
Jon’s smile falters the slightest measure at William’s tone, and William watches as the little bit of a thing’s eyes widen, suddenly fearful, and William isn’t an ogre. William’s entirely too soft for his own good, apparently.
“You,” William says, and Jon’s mouth downturns even further, like William doesn’t have a good ten years on him, and his voice is practically a reprimand when he says, “Brendon.”
Jon is a whelp and the bane of William’s existence. He’s lucky William’s so fond of him.
William pinches the bridge of his nose and ignores Gabriel’s snickering. “Just. Clean him up, would you,” he says, because he won’t stand for grubby little paw prints all over the manor.
The Perfect Man | PG-13 | 14,000+
Bob/Joe, Brendon/Spencer
(download the soundtrack)
Joe refuses to be charmed. Joe’s neighbor is some sort of drunkard or druggie, okay, and he smells like wood varnish and burnt hair and Joe really, really hopes he doesn’t have an explosive meth lab set up in his garage.
Finally! The Joe fic is done!! Okay, okay, so notes: loosely based on the book Mr. Perfect, by Linda Howard. As usual, massive thanks go to
insunshine – who is such a darling - for the awesome beta. Basically, this is for
nunshavingfun, because her love of Joe/Bob rivals mine. And for the record, Joe is one tough mofo to write. I have a feeling I’m wildly off base with him here, but I had fun anyway. Title is extremely lame, even for me. Sorry.
By the by, this was technically written for
harlequin_bands. I don't know if it actually qualifies anymore.
( The Perfect Man )
Bob/Joe, Brendon/Spencer
(download the soundtrack)
Joe refuses to be charmed. Joe’s neighbor is some sort of drunkard or druggie, okay, and he smells like wood varnish and burnt hair and Joe really, really hopes he doesn’t have an explosive meth lab set up in his garage.
Finally! The Joe fic is done!! Okay, okay, so notes: loosely based on the book Mr. Perfect, by Linda Howard. As usual, massive thanks go to
By the by, this was technically written for
( The Perfect Man )
New music is up to download over at
muse_to_match! Enjoy :)
Plays Out Like A Drum | PG-13 | ~4,000
Sam and Mary Beth sequel to the Kit and Lissa sequel to Found Days.
download the soundtrack
Mary Beth looks sleek in designer jeans and a black scoop-neck sweater. Sam’s heartbeat speeds up, she can feel the throb all the way down to her fingertips, and her throat’s so dry it clicks when she tries to swallow.
A/N: So for the three of you who will actually read this: I love these kids. So so much. This story won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the Brendon/Jon Found Days and Longer Than The Road first. Sam Beckett is in a band with Pear Wentz, Lissa Urie and Kit Walker. Mary Beth and Eddie Saporta are twins. A couple of MCR minis show up in this, too. Title is from The Matches’ Wake The Sun.
( Plays Out Like A Drum )
Sam and Mary Beth sequel to the Kit and Lissa sequel to Found Days.
download the soundtrack
Mary Beth looks sleek in designer jeans and a black scoop-neck sweater. Sam’s heartbeat speeds up, she can feel the throb all the way down to her fingertips, and her throat’s so dry it clicks when she tries to swallow.
A/N: So for the three of you who will actually read this: I love these kids. So so much. This story won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the Brendon/Jon Found Days and Longer Than The Road first. Sam Beckett is in a band with Pear Wentz, Lissa Urie and Kit Walker. Mary Beth and Eddie Saporta are twins. A couple of MCR minis show up in this, too. Title is from The Matches’ Wake The Sun.
( Plays Out Like A Drum )
All In The Way That You Trip | R | 22,000+
Brendon/Spencer | Harlequin AU
download the soundtrack
“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he *wants* Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?”
A/N: Okay, so this is the Harlequin Fic of Horrible Doom I’ve been teasing you with for so long, written for
harlequin_bands. It’s highly ridiculous, implausible, inaccurate, dumb, ill-conceived, poorly plotted, nonsensical, etc. Mainly it’s just Spencer hauling Brendon around a lot, which may or may not be your cup of tea. I’m still kind of totally embarrassed I actually wrote this *hands*. Many, huge thanks go to
insunshine for beta’ing this and for being extremely supportive and lovely and awesome, as usual! Title comes from a song by The Prix. I'm gonna go hide out and be ashamed all by my lonesome now *slinks off*
( All In The Way That You Trip )
Brendon/Spencer | Harlequin AU
download the soundtrack
“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he *wants* Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?”
A/N: Okay, so this is the Harlequin Fic of Horrible Doom I’ve been teasing you with for so long, written for
( All In The Way That You Trip )
