A Handholding Song | PG-13 | 15,000+
Joe/Bob, Brendon/Spencer, Frank/Gerard (with background William/Gabe, implied Jon/Ryan & blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Butcher/Siska)

“I’m gonna write a song about you,” Joe says. “It’ll be a handholding song, I hope you don’t mind if I make you a girl.”

A/N: THE HOBO JOE AU! It’s finished! And it's, like, an uber schmoopy meet-cute, but whatever. So many thanks to insunshine for beta’ing this – I’ve recently realized that I phrase things in epically weird ways, and some of it is just my style, but most of it is just stupid, and she totally calls me on it every time. And! TNBC was real, as was Hang Time, and those were my Saturday mornings for years (years spent in college and beyond! Real-life careers require California Dreams and City Guys, is all I’m saying).

( A Handholding Song )

Dancing Without Warning | PG-13 | 9000+
Kevin Jonas/Mike Carden | The Jonas Brothers, The Academy Is..., Jon Walker

“Let me get this straight,” Nick says, ignoring Joe’s snickers. “You accidentally implied that Mike Carden is a rapist.”

In which there is an elevator, a bet and the VMAs, leading to drunkenness, misunderstandings, and some approximation of dating. Mike is prickly, and Kevin is unwittingly a douche.

Contains minor references to Property of the Queen and Laser Cats, because Andy Samberg is a genius.

A/N: This was supposed to be a tiny little one-off about Mike and Kevin in an elevator. I don’t know what happened, but I’m blaming Bill Beckett. Unbeta’d, ridiculous, schmoopy, angsty, faily boys failing at love, told in snippets of various shapes, sizes and times. Title comes from The Art of Dancing by Bronx Cheerleader.

( Dancing Without Warning )

Saponification | PG-13 | multiple pairings | 19,000+
Sequel to Supersaturation, Solvation, Enthalpy, Entropy, Sublimation, Allotropy and Adsorption.

“I don’t usually follow gossip,” Brendon says, which is a blatant, bald lie, “but word is Crawford’s got an imaginary friend.”

A/N: For those of you who skipped Adsorption because of the JoBros, I strongly urge you to reconsider (Carden is awesome!) – I’m gonna say you probably need to have read ALL stories that have come before, and I’m gonna say that because I basically throw every character ever at you in this one. Except for, I’m sad to say, most of Panic. Fear not, they shall be the focus of the very next installment! Saying that, Saponification (title tongue-in-cheek) is about a slight mystery surrounding Joe, Gerard, Johnson and Ian. To make things slightly less confusing, have a Supersaturation Character Cheat Sheet! There are Nickelodeon and Disney people now! I blame Bonus.
Much awesome thanks to insunshine for the kick-ass beta-job. I totally don’t have favorites, but this is for druidspell (my best ‘verse supporter), nunshavingfun (I fixed Joe for you!!!), and starflowers (whose mere existence makes me smile).

( Saponification )

Build Your House, Call Me Home | PG | 10,000+
William’s House of Orphans AU
William/Gabe, others implied

William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame Jon.

Warning: this is not even remotely historically, geographically, or culturally accurate in any way.
A/N: I don’t know if this qualifies as actual fic? I’m sorry. I’m just—really, really sorry. Title comes from Sara by Fleetwood Mac.


( Build Your House, Call Me Home )

Remember that little brain fart of an idea I had in October about William's house of orphans? Yeah, um, I kind of ran with it. THIS IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY HISTORICALLY ACCURATE AT ALL. Right now I'm writing the part where Siska's coming back to Beckett Manor as a boy for the very first time - there's this whole thing where he's Greta's ward and he really wants to actually be a girl, but he's fourteen now and he can't really get away with it anymore - and he's worried how his very best friend Butcher is going to react!! HERE, HAVE SOME CHEEKY JON WALKER, SIR WILLIAM'S WARD:

William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame Jon. Jon, who currently looks like a common street rat, dirt streaking his rosy cheeks and just south of his pert smile, perfectly serviceable breeches just that morning now torn beyond repair. Victoria isn’t going to like this one little bit.

“Care to explain yourself, Jonathan?” William asks, arching an eyebrow.

Jon just grins wider.

Honestly, William’s been saddled with the cheekiest ward. He doesn’t think he was this much trouble when he was fourteen.

“This reminds me exactly of you,” Gabriel says, slouching negligently against the hearth mantel, curve of his mouth much too amused for William’s comfort. William’s trying to be firm here, to lay some ground rules, so as young Mr. Walker can’t, er. Walk all over him. It’s bad enough Jon’s talked him into having the laconic, kitten-eyed Ross and his fierce little protector hanging about, snagging his best guest rooms, pestering Cook for warm tarts and hot cocoa.

“Stuff it, Gabe,” William says, cutting him a small frown before turning once again to Jon and the little bit of a thing clutching the back of Jon’s once snowy-white shirt. “Jon.”

Jon’s smile falters the slightest measure at William’s tone, and William watches as the little bit of a thing’s eyes widen, suddenly fearful, and William isn’t an ogre. William’s entirely too soft for his own good, apparently.

“You,” William says, and Jon’s mouth downturns even further, like William doesn’t have a good ten years on him, and his voice is practically a reprimand when he says, “Brendon.”

Jon is a whelp and the bane of William’s existence. He’s lucky William’s so fond of him.

William pinches the bridge of his nose and ignores Gabriel’s snickering. “Just. Clean him up, would you,” he says, because he won’t stand for grubby little paw prints all over the manor.

The Perfect Man | PG-13 | 14,000+
Bob/Joe, Brendon/Spencer
(download the soundtrack)

Joe refuses to be charmed. Joe’s neighbor is some sort of drunkard or druggie, okay, and he smells like wood varnish and burnt hair and Joe really, really hopes he doesn’t have an explosive meth lab set up in his garage.

Finally! The Joe fic is done!! Okay, okay, so notes: loosely based on the book Mr. Perfect, by Linda Howard. As usual, massive thanks go to insunshine – who is such a darling - for the awesome beta. Basically, this is for nunshavingfun, because her love of Joe/Bob rivals mine. And for the record, Joe is one tough mofo to write. I have a feeling I’m wildly off base with him here, but I had fun anyway. Title is extremely lame, even for me. Sorry.
By the by, this was technically written for harlequin_bands. I don't know if it actually qualifies anymore.

( The Perfect Man )

* Firstly, someone has to put Merlin and Arthur on Atlantis, okay? That just should happen, like, immediately. I kind of want to make Merlin a gate tech *hands* so he doesn't know why Arthur is always taking him off-world.

* Secondly, someone NEEDS to write a fic where Jon Walker saves Christmas. I don't care how - maybe something Santa Clause-esque, only without him aging and rounding out; or maybe Jon's mysterious Uncle Nick needs some holiday help! Maybe he always disappears in radio silence to "Chicago" each year, but really he's up at the North Pole! Seriously. Seriously, think about it now, JON WALKER SAVES CHRISTMAS, HOW CAN THAT NOT BE A RECIPE FOR EXTREME AWESOME?

* Also, I'm feeling totally glum, so here's a bunch of random WIPs (Amnesty, anyone?)

( Ghosts R Us, featuring exasperated!Spence, fakeaccent!Brendon, sexuallyinapropriateghost!Ryan, and haunted!Jon )



( Pastor Jon, featuring it'sapraisebandnotacult!Ryan and choosingtobeamused!Spencer )



( Tea Shop Jon, featuring staidandboring!Jon, enthusiasticcook!Joe, and squintyeyed!Spencer, AKA the boring one that I abandoned for being boring )



( Alternate Beach Dog Universe, where Brendon has a boy and Ryan fosters kids and has too many cats - you can see why I didn't go with this original version )



( And speaking of Beach Dog, here's a Mary Beth and Eddie snippet set right before they joined Five Days and AZF on tour for Plays Out Like A Drum )



( And just for fun, here's a Beach Dog Marty and Keltie snippet, because god knows when that's actually getting written )

And... I'm spent.

untitled Spencer/Brendon middle school au ficlet, 913 words, I don't know, I just felt like writing about some twelve and thirteen year olds. Brendon's the new kid at lunch!

( Spencer has a nutritional lunch: apple, peanut butter and jelly, Wheat Thins and a grape juice box. )

New music is up to download over at muse_to_match! Enjoy :)

fics that I've been dabbling in that might or might not go anywhere:

- the one where I torture Joe and Travis off-world and give Brendon and Cash mini-clones.

- the one where I kill Jon in the very first sentence.

- the battle of the bands one where Brendon's parents won't let him be in a band and there might possibly be disguises involved.

- the ghost whisperer AU, where Jon buys Country Living magazines from Spencer and is being haunted by the ghost of Tom Conrad.

- the one where Jon's a pastor in PA and Ryan rocks out in a praise band and Spencer thinks everyone's joined a cult.

- the one where Bob is Joe's cop neighbor and there might possibly be someone trying to kill Joe.

- the one where the Jonas Brothers' plane crashes and suddenly they're all Panic's guardian angels, and Panic can actually see them, but only when they're high. Brendon is freaked out.

Plays Out Like A Drum | PG-13 | ~4,000
Sam and Mary Beth sequel to the Kit and Lissa sequel to Found Days.
download the soundtrack

Mary Beth looks sleek in designer jeans and a black scoop-neck sweater. Sam’s heartbeat speeds up, she can feel the throb all the way down to her fingertips, and her throat’s so dry it clicks when she tries to swallow.

A/N: So for the three of you who will actually read this: I love these kids. So so much. This story won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the Brendon/Jon Found Days and Longer Than The Road first. Sam Beckett is in a band with Pear Wentz, Lissa Urie and Kit Walker. Mary Beth and Eddie Saporta are twins. A couple of MCR minis show up in this, too. Title is from The Matches’ Wake The Sun.


( Plays Out Like A Drum )

Even though I still have MASSIVE writer's block, I managed to write this little ficlet as a prize for fixmein_45, who was a winner over at ysosrsbandom. Read it here! It's got Brendon and Ryan and Spencer and markers and Brittany Laine Walker, aged seven months.

All In The Way That You Trip | R | 22,000+
Brendon/Spencer | Harlequin AU
download the soundtrack

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he *wants* Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?”

A/N: Okay, so this is the Harlequin Fic of Horrible Doom I’ve been teasing you with for so long, written for harlequin_bands. It’s highly ridiculous, implausible, inaccurate, dumb, ill-conceived, poorly plotted, nonsensical, etc. Mainly it’s just Spencer hauling Brendon around a lot, which may or may not be your cup of tea. I’m still kind of totally embarrassed I actually wrote this *hands*. Many, huge thanks go to insunshine for beta’ing this and for being extremely supportive and lovely and awesome, as usual! Title comes from a song by The Prix. I'm gonna go hide out and be ashamed all by my lonesome now *slinks off*

( All In The Way That You Trip )

Number 2 ficlet from the stump Skoozie meme, archival purposes edition! For airgiodslv who asked for "Brendon and Jon both flirting with Spencer and/or Ryan and really being attracted to each other." 626 words. Goes absolutely nowhere.

( “What are you doing?” Ryan asks Brendon, squinting his eyes and cocking his head, like maybe Brendon’s one of those optical illusions with hidden tigers or sailboats. Which would be awesome, but not actually possible. He doesn’t think. )