While Stumbling Where Our Hearts Beat Regular Time | PG-13 | ~11,000
Kevin Jonas/Mike Carden | Werewolf AU, also featuring vampires

Kevin had been born this way; he’s been changing since he was thirteen. There’s pain, but it doesn’t hurt. It just *is.* It’s just his bones doing what they’re supposed to do, and he licks blood off his knees and paws before padding over to his half open window and jumping down onto the fire escape.

Important A/N: Firstly, this is NOT an A little Less Sixteen Candles… AU, however, just to confuse and astound you, I’ve used some characters from that verse. Secondly, I did research! But did I do werewolf research? Of course not. I spent an inordinate amount of time researching the fable that Ryan tells Kevin, one single scene (but it’s totally integral!) – the rest, well. I’m a bullshitter, not a fact-checker. I bullshit with confidence; it’s what got me through 4 years of college. This isn’t beta’d, but only because I wanted to get it up in time for Halloween. I at least had starflowers (who is lovely and helpful!) check it for plot-holes :) Title is from Kissing the Beehive by Wolf Parade. Happy Halloween!


( While Stumbling Where Our Hearts Beat Regular Time )

NINJA | PG-13 | ~32,000
Kevin Jonas/Mike Carden (also: Kevin/Zac Efron, Brendon/Spencer, Bill/Miranda, Pete/Ashlee, Pete/Patrick)

There are grooves in Kevin’s fingers from where he’s gripping his bass, soft, but calloused underbellies digging into the strings. It’s enough pain to ground him; he releases the strings backwards, the positioning a direct reverse of the beginning of In Front And Heavy. This is it. There’s no going back, even if one of the kids singing along in twenty minutes recognizes the curve of Miranda’s mouth, the timbre of Brendon’s voice, the strawberry blonde curl of Patrick’s hair under his knit cap; Bill’s splayed, spidery legs, Kevin’s wrists, fingers – the white band of skin that isn’t hidden by a thin band of silver.

*We are your losers, your loud weirdoes, your science stars, your shy, retiring band geeks*, Kevin thinks, and sets off for the stage.

A/N: This is it. The completely pointless, self-indulgent high school AU about a secret band playing secret music and writing a secret blog. I kind of hope you enjoy it. Massive thanks to insunshine for the excellent beta-work, and also to starflowers, who cheered me on through this entire thing. This actually had a different title, but then I thought, fuck it, because it's always been NINJA in my head. (ps – more notes at the end about who’s who in some of the blogged about bands, if you’re curious)

( NINJA )

A Handholding Song | PG-13 | 15,000+
Joe/Bob, Brendon/Spencer, Frank/Gerard (with background William/Gabe, implied Jon/Ryan & blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Butcher/Siska)

“I’m gonna write a song about you,” Joe says. “It’ll be a handholding song, I hope you don’t mind if I make you a girl.”

A/N: THE HOBO JOE AU! It’s finished! And it's, like, an uber schmoopy meet-cute, but whatever. So many thanks to insunshine for beta’ing this – I’ve recently realized that I phrase things in epically weird ways, and some of it is just my style, but most of it is just stupid, and she totally calls me on it every time. And! TNBC was real, as was Hang Time, and those were my Saturday mornings for years (years spent in college and beyond! Real-life careers require California Dreams and City Guys, is all I’m saying).

( A Handholding Song )

So I'm not good with people! I'm actually really terrible with people! So, um, Shonna, Lesa, Allie - I'm either going to say really stupid shit or not say anything at all (I clam up! It's embarrassing!), so I apologize in advance if I act like an asshaty spaz on Friday. Hopefully I will be fine! It's, like, the way the wind's blowing any given day or whatever. ALSO: FALL OUT BOY. GABE. I AM ALREADY WORRYING ABOUT THE BATHROOM SITUATION (PUBLIC TOILETS ARE FRIGHTENING).

Which does not actually bring me to my next point, but: in one scene in Hobo Joe I felt like I was making Bob just the littlest bit John McClane-like, and THEN IT CAME TO ME: MCR DIE HARD AU.

You can either go with Die Hard With A Vengeance, where Frank is Zeus! Bob and Frank!! They have to figure out clues and Bob wants to beat Frank a lot and it's awesome! Or you can do Live Free or Die Hard, where there's Bob, and there's hacker Mikey! Gerard can be there, too, there's no rules here! BOB CAN KILL A HELICOPTER WITH A CAR IT'S TOTALLY WITHIN HIS MEANS. Gerard can wring his hands a lot and Mikey can be all computer geeky and blase, like, OOPS THAT BLEW UP OH WELL HEY MAYBE WE SHOULD GO VISIT WARLOCK (WHO IS FRANK!)

WHY ARE YOU NOT ALL RUSHING OFF TO WRITE THIS!?

ALSO: FAST AND FURIOUS? BEST MOVIE EVER. Or, I just have a weakness for Vin Diesel. This is possible. But, seriously, the SEXUAL TENSION, I'm not just making it up. It's even better than all that eye-fucking in the first one, I really wanted to watch it over and over again. And then read more Brian/Dom fics (which I think I've finally run out of, someone get on writing more please and thank you!)

Saponification | PG-13 | multiple pairings | 19,000+
Sequel to Supersaturation, Solvation, Enthalpy, Entropy, Sublimation, Allotropy and Adsorption.

“I don’t usually follow gossip,” Brendon says, which is a blatant, bald lie, “but word is Crawford’s got an imaginary friend.”

A/N: For those of you who skipped Adsorption because of the JoBros, I strongly urge you to reconsider (Carden is awesome!) – I’m gonna say you probably need to have read ALL stories that have come before, and I’m gonna say that because I basically throw every character ever at you in this one. Except for, I’m sad to say, most of Panic. Fear not, they shall be the focus of the very next installment! Saying that, Saponification (title tongue-in-cheek) is about a slight mystery surrounding Joe, Gerard, Johnson and Ian. To make things slightly less confusing, have a Supersaturation Character Cheat Sheet! There are Nickelodeon and Disney people now! I blame Bonus.
Much awesome thanks to insunshine for the kick-ass beta-job. I totally don’t have favorites, but this is for druidspell (my best ‘verse supporter), nunshavingfun (I fixed Joe for you!!!), and starflowers (whose mere existence makes me smile).

( Saponification )

How not to eat a cat | PG | 1000+ words
Bob/Joe, Frank, Mikey, Gerard, Ray

I'm blaming nunshavingfun. Frank is TV's Alf. Kind of. What I remember most about that series is that Alf was constantly trying to eat Lucky the cat, only he kind of really loved him. So, whatever. This shit totally should not have been written. You've been warned.

( When Frank crash-lands on earth, he makes the most of it. Sure, his home planet is destroyed, he’s likely the only survivor, and sometimes he stares at his communication console – in patched together pieces, sitting in Bob’s garage – and thinks about all he’s lost, but generally he just hangs around with Joe, bugs the crap out of Bob, and commiserates with the dog about how much they both want to eat the cat. Sweet, delicious cat. )

The Perfect Man | PG-13 | 14,000+
Bob/Joe, Brendon/Spencer
(download the soundtrack)

Joe refuses to be charmed. Joe’s neighbor is some sort of drunkard or druggie, okay, and he smells like wood varnish and burnt hair and Joe really, really hopes he doesn’t have an explosive meth lab set up in his garage.

Finally! The Joe fic is done!! Okay, okay, so notes: loosely based on the book Mr. Perfect, by Linda Howard. As usual, massive thanks go to insunshine – who is such a darling - for the awesome beta. Basically, this is for nunshavingfun, because her love of Joe/Bob rivals mine. And for the record, Joe is one tough mofo to write. I have a feeling I’m wildly off base with him here, but I had fun anyway. Title is extremely lame, even for me. Sorry.
By the by, this was technically written for harlequin_bands. I don't know if it actually qualifies anymore.

( The Perfect Man )

New music is up to download over at muse_to_match! Enjoy :)

Plays Out Like A Drum | PG-13 | ~4,000
Sam and Mary Beth sequel to the Kit and Lissa sequel to Found Days.
download the soundtrack

Mary Beth looks sleek in designer jeans and a black scoop-neck sweater. Sam’s heartbeat speeds up, she can feel the throb all the way down to her fingertips, and her throat’s so dry it clicks when she tries to swallow.

A/N: So for the three of you who will actually read this: I love these kids. So so much. This story won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the Brendon/Jon Found Days and Longer Than The Road first. Sam Beckett is in a band with Pear Wentz, Lissa Urie and Kit Walker. Mary Beth and Eddie Saporta are twins. A couple of MCR minis show up in this, too. Title is from The Matches’ Wake The Sun.


( Plays Out Like A Drum )

All In The Way That You Trip | R | 22,000+
Brendon/Spencer | Harlequin AU
download the soundtrack

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he *wants* Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?”

A/N: Okay, so this is the Harlequin Fic of Horrible Doom I’ve been teasing you with for so long, written for harlequin_bands. It’s highly ridiculous, implausible, inaccurate, dumb, ill-conceived, poorly plotted, nonsensical, etc. Mainly it’s just Spencer hauling Brendon around a lot, which may or may not be your cup of tea. I’m still kind of totally embarrassed I actually wrote this *hands*. Many, huge thanks go to insunshine for beta’ing this and for being extremely supportive and lovely and awesome, as usual! Title comes from a song by The Prix. I'm gonna go hide out and be ashamed all by my lonesome now *slinks off*

( All In The Way That You Trip )