While Stumbling Where Our Hearts Beat Regular Time | PG-13 | ~11,000
Kevin Jonas/Mike Carden | Werewolf AU, also featuring vampires

Kevin had been born this way; he’s been changing since he was thirteen. There’s pain, but it doesn’t hurt. It just *is.* It’s just his bones doing what they’re supposed to do, and he licks blood off his knees and paws before padding over to his half open window and jumping down onto the fire escape.

Important A/N: Firstly, this is NOT an A little Less Sixteen Candles… AU, however, just to confuse and astound you, I’ve used some characters from that verse. Secondly, I did research! But did I do werewolf research? Of course not. I spent an inordinate amount of time researching the fable that Ryan tells Kevin, one single scene (but it’s totally integral!) – the rest, well. I’m a bullshitter, not a fact-checker. I bullshit with confidence; it’s what got me through 4 years of college. This isn’t beta’d, but only because I wanted to get it up in time for Halloween. I at least had starflowers (who is lovely and helpful!) check it for plot-holes :) Title is from Kissing the Beehive by Wolf Parade. Happy Halloween!


( While Stumbling Where Our Hearts Beat Regular Time )

The Scene Isn’t What It’s Been | PG-13 | ~5,500
Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas, The Academy Is…, Jonas Brothers, Cobra Starship, Panic!, Fall Out Boy

Brendon’s more of an in-your-face naked guy, while Mike’s nakedness sneaks up on you out of nowhere. It’s like Kevin doesn’t realize Mike isn’t wearing pants until he realizes Mike *isn’t wearing pants.*

a/n: this ridiculous piece of tour dating – yes, tour dating - was written because I wanted to have Kevin meet Drunk Naked Guy!Carden from DSIDWY and Commando!Carden from Break Away. It’s not necessary to read those fics to understand this one, but you might want to anyway. Cobra Jenga (though not called Cobra Jenga at the time) is something my friends and I used to play in college; it’s stupid fun, but gets expensive when you don’t play with the same exact group of people, especially when you get as specific with the pieces as we always did. Title comes from TMBG’s The End of The Tour. Unbeta’d, because I really didn’t think it was worth it – please point out any mistakes :) One day I will write one of these from Mike’s pov, promise.

( The Scene Isn’t What It’s Been )

Sometimes You’re Already There | PG-13 | ~ 6,000
Spencer/Jon, Brendon/Ryan-ish

Spencer has always been very practical. The problem is, there’s his real life, and then there’s Ryan.

A/N: So a little while ago I asked for amnesty for this Ghost Whisperer AU thing I tricked myself into writing, and most of you wouldn’t give it to me. So you only have yourselves to blame. Spencer sees dead people. Crack that gets weirdly angsty at parts. Title is from Not Going Home by The Elected. Quickly written and unbeta'd so please point out any errors!

( Sometimes You’re Already There )

NINJA | PG-13 | ~32,000
Kevin Jonas/Mike Carden (also: Kevin/Zac Efron, Brendon/Spencer, Bill/Miranda, Pete/Ashlee, Pete/Patrick)

There are grooves in Kevin’s fingers from where he’s gripping his bass, soft, but calloused underbellies digging into the strings. It’s enough pain to ground him; he releases the strings backwards, the positioning a direct reverse of the beginning of In Front And Heavy. This is it. There’s no going back, even if one of the kids singing along in twenty minutes recognizes the curve of Miranda’s mouth, the timbre of Brendon’s voice, the strawberry blonde curl of Patrick’s hair under his knit cap; Bill’s splayed, spidery legs, Kevin’s wrists, fingers – the white band of skin that isn’t hidden by a thin band of silver.

*We are your losers, your loud weirdoes, your science stars, your shy, retiring band geeks*, Kevin thinks, and sets off for the stage.

A/N: This is it. The completely pointless, self-indulgent high school AU about a secret band playing secret music and writing a secret blog. I kind of hope you enjoy it. Massive thanks to insunshine for the excellent beta-work, and also to starflowers, who cheered me on through this entire thing. This actually had a different title, but then I thought, fuck it, because it's always been NINJA in my head. (ps – more notes at the end about who’s who in some of the blogged about bands, if you’re curious)

( NINJA )

A Handholding Song | PG-13 | 15,000+
Joe/Bob, Brendon/Spencer, Frank/Gerard (with background William/Gabe, implied Jon/Ryan & blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Butcher/Siska)

“I’m gonna write a song about you,” Joe says. “It’ll be a handholding song, I hope you don’t mind if I make you a girl.”

A/N: THE HOBO JOE AU! It’s finished! And it's, like, an uber schmoopy meet-cute, but whatever. So many thanks to insunshine for beta’ing this – I’ve recently realized that I phrase things in epically weird ways, and some of it is just my style, but most of it is just stupid, and she totally calls me on it every time. And! TNBC was real, as was Hang Time, and those were my Saturday mornings for years (years spent in college and beyond! Real-life careers require California Dreams and City Guys, is all I’m saying).

( A Handholding Song )

Saponification | PG-13 | multiple pairings | 19,000+
Sequel to Supersaturation, Solvation, Enthalpy, Entropy, Sublimation, Allotropy and Adsorption.

“I don’t usually follow gossip,” Brendon says, which is a blatant, bald lie, “but word is Crawford’s got an imaginary friend.”

A/N: For those of you who skipped Adsorption because of the JoBros, I strongly urge you to reconsider (Carden is awesome!) – I’m gonna say you probably need to have read ALL stories that have come before, and I’m gonna say that because I basically throw every character ever at you in this one. Except for, I’m sad to say, most of Panic. Fear not, they shall be the focus of the very next installment! Saying that, Saponification (title tongue-in-cheek) is about a slight mystery surrounding Joe, Gerard, Johnson and Ian. To make things slightly less confusing, have a Supersaturation Character Cheat Sheet! There are Nickelodeon and Disney people now! I blame Bonus.
Much awesome thanks to insunshine for the kick-ass beta-job. I totally don’t have favorites, but this is for druidspell (my best ‘verse supporter), nunshavingfun (I fixed Joe for you!!!), and starflowers (whose mere existence makes me smile).

( Saponification )

How not to eat a cat | PG | 1000+ words
Bob/Joe, Frank, Mikey, Gerard, Ray

I'm blaming nunshavingfun. Frank is TV's Alf. Kind of. What I remember most about that series is that Alf was constantly trying to eat Lucky the cat, only he kind of really loved him. So, whatever. This shit totally should not have been written. You've been warned.

( When Frank crash-lands on earth, he makes the most of it. Sure, his home planet is destroyed, he’s likely the only survivor, and sometimes he stares at his communication console – in patched together pieces, sitting in Bob’s garage – and thinks about all he’s lost, but generally he just hangs around with Joe, bugs the crap out of Bob, and commiserates with the dog about how much they both want to eat the cat. Sweet, delicious cat. )

Build Your House, Call Me Home | PG | 10,000+
William’s House of Orphans AU
William/Gabe, others implied

William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame Jon.

Warning: this is not even remotely historically, geographically, or culturally accurate in any way.
A/N: I don’t know if this qualifies as actual fic? I’m sorry. I’m just—really, really sorry. Title comes from Sara by Fleetwood Mac.


( Build Your House, Call Me Home )

The Perfect Man | PG-13 | 14,000+
Bob/Joe, Brendon/Spencer
(download the soundtrack)

Joe refuses to be charmed. Joe’s neighbor is some sort of drunkard or druggie, okay, and he smells like wood varnish and burnt hair and Joe really, really hopes he doesn’t have an explosive meth lab set up in his garage.

Finally! The Joe fic is done!! Okay, okay, so notes: loosely based on the book Mr. Perfect, by Linda Howard. As usual, massive thanks go to insunshine – who is such a darling - for the awesome beta. Basically, this is for nunshavingfun, because her love of Joe/Bob rivals mine. And for the record, Joe is one tough mofo to write. I have a feeling I’m wildly off base with him here, but I had fun anyway. Title is extremely lame, even for me. Sorry.
By the by, this was technically written for harlequin_bands. I don't know if it actually qualifies anymore.

( The Perfect Man )

New music is up to download over at muse_to_match! Enjoy :)

Plays Out Like A Drum | PG-13 | ~4,000
Sam and Mary Beth sequel to the Kit and Lissa sequel to Found Days.
download the soundtrack

Mary Beth looks sleek in designer jeans and a black scoop-neck sweater. Sam’s heartbeat speeds up, she can feel the throb all the way down to her fingertips, and her throat’s so dry it clicks when she tries to swallow.

A/N: So for the three of you who will actually read this: I love these kids. So so much. This story won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the Brendon/Jon Found Days and Longer Than The Road first. Sam Beckett is in a band with Pear Wentz, Lissa Urie and Kit Walker. Mary Beth and Eddie Saporta are twins. A couple of MCR minis show up in this, too. Title is from The Matches’ Wake The Sun.


( Plays Out Like A Drum )

All In The Way That You Trip | R | 22,000+
Brendon/Spencer | Harlequin AU
download the soundtrack

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he *wants* Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?”

A/N: Okay, so this is the Harlequin Fic of Horrible Doom I’ve been teasing you with for so long, written for harlequin_bands. It’s highly ridiculous, implausible, inaccurate, dumb, ill-conceived, poorly plotted, nonsensical, etc. Mainly it’s just Spencer hauling Brendon around a lot, which may or may not be your cup of tea. I’m still kind of totally embarrassed I actually wrote this *hands*. Many, huge thanks go to insunshine for beta’ing this and for being extremely supportive and lovely and awesome, as usual! Title comes from a song by The Prix. I'm gonna go hide out and be ashamed all by my lonesome now *slinks off*

( All In The Way That You Trip )