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Granger: gone. Blaise: alone. Us: screwed

panic - pants to match ver. 3
I'm so excited! I finished Chapter 18 of Origin of Storms and sent it off to my beta-reader this morning. *dances* Woot! Now all I have left is the epilogue!

Thanks to all who sent me challenges, they really jump started me. I loff you. And I've decided to write them in the order in which they were recieved.

First off is eska_rina's request:
Harry/Pansy, a marriage of some sort, and a little row.

It's a little rough around the edges, of course, but I think it works :)


*****
Slip of the Tongue

“Potter.”

Harry grunted and batted away the finger that was poking his side.

Potter,” the voice hissed again.

“Wha..?” He rolled his head to the side, blinking at the blurry form beside him. Reaching up, he lazily pushed his glasses back up his nose, bringing into focus an angry, black-haired woman in a tight lipstick-red sheath that pushed her breasts up so high he could almost see the top of her nipples. “Pansy?” he asked, voice thick with confusion. “What the bloody hell are you doing in my bed—“ He cut off, suddenly aware that the chair he was currently sprawled in was white and frilly and good Merlin he’d fallen asleep! Straightening from his slouched position so abruptly he nearly toppled the delicate armchair, he whipped his gaze about the room. “Where’s Hermione?”

Pansy rolled her eyes and tapped the tip of her stiletto against the hardwood floor, drawing Harry’s eyes down the woman’s impossibly long legs below an impossibly short dress. “She’s gone, Potter,” she growled. “You were supposed to watch her!”

Harry jerked his gaze off her shapely stems and demanded indignantly, “How was I to know she’d run?”

“Because it’s Granger, Potter, and Blaise barely got her to agree to this in the first place. That’s why you were supposed to watch her.” She threw up her hands in disgust. “You’re an entire waste of space; you do know that, right?”

Harry scowled down at the floor and grumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that?”

He sent her a narrowed glare. “I said I was useful enough to kill Voldemort, now wasn’t I?”

“You can’t pull that Savior of the Wizarding World crap with me,” she shot back, hands on her hips. “Not when we’ve got a church full of guests and my best friend alone at the altar.”

Standing, Harry shoved a hand into his curls and sighed. “She can’t have gone very far,” he offered wearily.

“Oh? Miss Brilliant-Witch doesn’t know how to Apparate? Or use a Floo? Use your brain, Harry—“

“What?”

Pushing his hand aside, she smoothed his fringe over his forehead, then tapped his skull with a perfectly manicured nail. “Your brain. You know, the pea-sized organ rattling around in this oversized head of yours. It might be hard to find, but I’m sure if you concentrate… what?”

Harry blinked at her. “You called me Harry,” he pointed out.

Her mouth gaped slightly and she hastily dropped her hand from his hair. A second later she collected herself and tilted her chin up at a haughty angle. “What of it?”

“You don’t call me Harry,” he answered lamely.

“Yes, well…” She crossed her arms under her breasts and glared at him. “That’s beside the point, don’t you think?”

He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Does Ron know?”

“Know what?” she bit out quickly, brown eyes rounding.

Harry gave her a suspicious look, then said slowly, “That Hermione’s gone.”

Visibly relaxing, she replied, “I have no idea, Potter.”

A crooked smile pulled at his lips. “Back to Potter, then?”

“Does it matter?” she asked, exasperated.

“I rather liked the sound of Harry coming from your mouth.”

“Let me reiterate this for you, Potter,” she stated tightly. “Granger: gone. Blaise: alone. Us: screwed.”

His brows rose on her last remark. “Really?”

With an irritated oath, she shouted, “Get your mind out of the gutter! We’ve got a serious situation on our hands!”

Cocking his head, he leisurely ran his gaze over her body. “How is that dress staying up, anyway? Charms?”

Clenching her jaw, she growled, “I’m getting angry.”

“Getting?” he asked, blatantly amused. “Thought you already were.” He took a step closer to her, eyes now firmly fixed on her chest. “Really, how is that staying up?”

“Would you just—“ She froze, lips parted on a soundless ‘o’ as two of Harry’s fingers dipped into her cleavage, tugging on the smooth satin that bound her breasts. Her skin tingled and mottled an embarrassing red and he gave her a mischievous grin.

And then the door burst open and Hermione strode in, breathless and harried with a scowl of frustration on her face. “Damned if I’ll let that smarmy bastard get the best of me,” she muttered, yanking her white dress-robes off their hanger and shoving her arms viciously into the sleeves. Glancing up at a startled Harry and Pansy she snarled, “Tell the bloody minister to start the organ.”

Surprise melting from his face, Harry gave Pansy a smug glance. “Problem solved.”

“Don’t think I’ll just let you get away with this, Harry,” Pansy said pointedly, finally gathering her wits and forcibly removing Harry’s hand from her dress.

“Never crossed my mind.” Humming slightly, he strolled towards the door. Pausing with his hand on the knob, he threw over his shoulder, “In fact, I’d be highly disappointed if you did.”
*****


Next up should be some Charlie slash.

Comments

( 24 robots have taken off their pants — Take off your pants )
azn_girl
Sep. 9th, 2004 03:12 pm (UTC)
Hello! I was wondering if it would be all right for me to rec some of your work on a website I'm making. I will, of course, say that you wrote all the fanfic. =)
skoosiepants
Sep. 9th, 2004 08:21 pm (UTC)
Of course! I love being recced, thanks for asking :) Let me know when it's up, I'd love to take a look-see.
azn_girl
Sep. 11th, 2004 12:58 am (UTC)
I'll drop you a line via email. :)
delphine_malfoy
Sep. 9th, 2004 03:32 pm (UTC)
that was awesome.
i've always pictured harry as kind of bumbling and though a gryffindor, not quite as brave and confident when facing a pair of breasts. but this harry was lovely- very sexy. you could/should probably go further with this; not that i'm trying to add to your story load or anything.

in case you're wondering who the hell i am, i go by mercy84 at fictionalley, and am very much impressed by your work. i can't imagine how you can keep churning out such brilliant fiction.

keep it up!
skoosiepants
Sep. 9th, 2004 08:25 pm (UTC)
Re: that was awesome.
mercy84! Good to see a familiar face :) Glad you liked this little bit. I think the breasts threw him, but he quickly recovered... bumbling one moment, suave the next... I can see him tripping right outside the door, just after this part, maybe a shoe just visible in the door frame :) I might go further if I have the time!
veracity
Sep. 9th, 2004 05:37 pm (UTC)
*pets you* Pansy. PANSY.

Ahem. Better now. I loved this. A smug Harry is... oddly attractive, which is saying a lot coming from the "not liking Harry" camp. *grins* Brilliant.
skoosiepants
Sep. 9th, 2004 08:28 pm (UTC)
Pansy is highly underrated :)

I often like my own Harry, but hate everyone elses. Although I have a really wierd fetish for child-like!Harry. Just hits a soft spot I suppose. Or I just like to see him mentally broken. Hmmmm....
veracity
Sep. 9th, 2004 08:56 pm (UTC)
*whispers* Im opening a Ginny/Pansy site because dagnabit, there needs to be one. Cause. Ginny. Pansy. My two favorite girls.

I usually writing Harry like the plague. I can't get into his mindset well enough, which is probably why I like your Harry... you give him dimension. And I think I'd like to see broken!Harry met demented!Ginny (one of my fave Ginny's, next to feisty). That'd be... interesting.
skoosiepants
Sep. 10th, 2004 07:37 am (UTC)
Ginny/Pansy site! *does happy dance*

I think demented!Ginny would have a lot of fun with broken!Harry... lots of evil fun...
veracity
Sep. 10th, 2004 10:34 am (UTC)
*grins* G/P is my fem OTP (yes I have three for the three kinds of fic; the other two are Draco/Ron, Draco/Ginny.. there is a pattern. *snickers*) and i found not one site. I was rather insulted.

demented!Ginny would for sure have fun with broken!Harry. Hrm. That could a nice dark piece, especially if Phantom!Tom was in there somehow.
skoosiepants
Sep. 10th, 2004 11:01 am (UTC)
Oh, that would be properly delicious.
veracity
Sep. 10th, 2004 11:05 am (UTC)
Wouldn't that?

I can see it rather clearly. I'm also frightened how well I can see it. But still. I like the idea. *files away the idea for when my muse appears to come back from Tahiti again*
(Anonymous)
Sep. 9th, 2004 06:14 pm (UTC)
Hey, that was great!
I don't really see Harry as brave or sexy in this... although he is sexy... I kinda see him as half asleep and only smug until the end... like he doesn't really know what he's doing, he's just tired and thinks Pansy's hot... of course, who wouldn't?!
Wonderful!
-Jess
skoosiepants
Sep. 9th, 2004 08:30 pm (UTC)
Half-asleep... that's exactly it. And smug by default, simply because Pansy tripped over her own feet. Does Harry ever really know what he's doing? *grins*
eska_rina
Sep. 10th, 2004 06:37 am (UTC)
*begins to dance*

Harry. Pansy. Together. - YES!

*hug*

THANK YOU! This was wonderful :)
skoosiepants
Sep. 10th, 2004 07:35 am (UTC)
*grins* glad you liked it! I think they're one of my favorite pairings.
elphaba_at_17
Sep. 11th, 2004 01:51 pm (UTC)
'Allo! This is biggerstaffbunch over from FAP- I'm one of those scary fangirl-type things who squeal at whatever you write...considered this squealable.

I love Harry usually- especially your Harry...you write him endearingly and likeably enough, clueless. Origin of Storms and Nighthawk are two of my favorites...I also love you determinedandgrim!Harry in Twilight of the Dawn. But this Harry...HOO! He was sexy and rumpled. Asdkijhgilk. Ah. Loved it...and Pansy in lipstick-red at a wedding? How appropriate...

I ahve a RL!Journal which I am using here to comment with, and a Fandom!Journal by the name of biggerstaffbunch...feel free to add either or both...I am eager to see what else you come up with!

(BTW: I do miss your Pirate!Neville and crew....)
skoosiepants
Sep. 12th, 2004 11:56 am (UTC)
*adds you* Good to see you biggerstaffbunch! I'm so happy you found this cookie squealable... rumpled Harry is so much fun to write :)

I miss the crew as well... I have a defunct unfinished sequel hanging about somewhere on my computer. One day I may pull it all together...
(Anonymous)
Apr. 11th, 2005 02:14 am (UTC)
Hey I think I've reviewed your fics on fictionalley before but if not, know that I love you and think your fics are awesome. This was cute - go suave harry who you don't see too much of anywhere else. I think he'd proobably be relaxed cause hed just woken up and it just worked with hot pansy - she's so cool. I also love your dirty trousers, i stumbled across it by accident and have fallen in love..again. Anyway thanks for being awesome, I always look out for your fics.
Keep 'em coming!
Stufler
oh and if u love the pansy (who doesn't?) there's an excellent Ron/Pansy fic, Pariah by Maegunn Butt, you've probably already read it but I reckon it'd appeal to you.
skoosiepants
Apr. 11th, 2005 05:48 am (UTC)
Hullo! new face *hugs* Glad you like this little challenge piece, and that you've found Dirty Trousers, the fic that ate my brain, enjoyable :)

Meg is one of my favorite authors *grins* We fangirl each other, and Pariah is amazing!
(Anonymous)
Apr. 12th, 2005 02:52 am (UTC)
Yes a message back! they always make the reviewer feel appreciated which is lovely:D
omg meg's awesome hey you're my two favourite authors :cheesy grin: i swear i dont say that to all the fanficers :p
but nah keep up the good work!
~stufler
skoosiepants
Apr. 12th, 2005 06:12 am (UTC)
sure you don't *grins* but I'm happy my work pleases :)
*hugs*
zeneschal
Jan. 4th, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
You have got to be the first one to make me not gag while reading a *het* fic. <3
skoosiepants
Jan. 5th, 2008 02:14 pm (UTC)
*laughs* well, that's pretty awesome - thanks!
( 24 robots have taken off their pants — Take off your pants )

....

Derek, the wolf, noses up the window from where Stiles had been leaving it cracked open for him, and Stiles watches from his computer chair as he hops into the room, shimmies off the light rain that had been falling, and rubs his side into the comforter hanging off Stiles’ bed.

Stiles hasn’t seen him all day, in either of his forms, and he smiles a little at the way Derek sneezes into his paws with a shake of his head.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles asks, and Derek gives him a baleful look before jumping up onto his mattress. “Hey, no, you’re wet, Jesus, those sheets were clean!” Or, like, relatively clean; cleaner than the ones that had been on there up until three days ago, anyhow.

Derek rolls onto his back and wriggles around, kicking at the sheets with his back feet because he’s a jackass.

- You are the Moon

....







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panic - pants to match ver. 3
skoosiepants
master of karate and friendship
pants to match

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